Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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