we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
