I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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