I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I think my moral compass just broke
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
