My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
