How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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