I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
