Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
