This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize