i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
