His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
