Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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