just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Pants are for mortals
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
