I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
