I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
