My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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