stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
