I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
