Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
