i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
