I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
