So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
