dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
