In the future we'll all be gay
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
