Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
