Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
