She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
