xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
