ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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