Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
