Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
