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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.

  Fav 20 9291 1518

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• (305): View more from Florida

  Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.

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• (805): View more from California

  That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....

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• (518): View more from New York

  That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.

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• (209): View more from California

  I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"

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