but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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