How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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