i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
there's paper in my vomit.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
