But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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