What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
