I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
