you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
