the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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