break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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