i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
