Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize
