I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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