Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My cat gives me a boner
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
If its not for food we ain't going out.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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