is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
