I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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