Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
