Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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