I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
it's great music for shaving your balls
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
