she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
please come you make the beer taste better
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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